


Morning coffee

by Aida666



Category: Leedus-Fandom
Genre: Jealousy, Leedus, Love Triangle, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9133390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida666/pseuds/Aida666
Summary: Jeffrey and Norman are friends since forever, but Andy can't stand it.Everything was okay until the start of new filming season. It seems like Norman would rather spent his time with Jeffrey instead of morning coffee with Andy, what is their tradition since "Day 2" on set...Andy is pretty jealous.





	1. First day

**Author's Note:**

> !!!! I'm just letting you know that I'll give you the end of 'This will be Christmas like from fairy-tale...' in a couple of days (or weeks) 'cause I want a perfect end for that story. !!!!  
>  And notes for this fanfic?  
> 1) I wanted to write it from Andy's view, so I hope it's good.  
> 2) I wrote this, because I couldn't find much works on this topic. Like Jeffrey/Norman/Andy. And I love this kind of mixture. So I hope you'll like it.  
> 3) Again sorry, so sorry for my english. I did my best.  
> 4) I have nothing against Jeffrey. I like him a lot actually. So don't get me wrong, it's just fanfic.  
> P.S: Leave me a comment if you want, I would appreciate that. :)  
> Stay tuned. ;)

* * *

It’s finally here! New filiming season is here! Andy couldn’t wait to see all cast’s members. Especially Norman. He has not seen him in ages! Norman was too busy to meet with him! Too busy for one month.

Andy was upset about it. He feel so incomplete when this guy’s not around.

He arrived to ‚camp‘ last night and wanted to visit Norman in his trailer. But others told him that he’s somewhere with Jeffrey. That they went to ride on motorbikes.

That was a bit annoying. But Andy told to himself that he’ll see Norman tomorow. He’s not like this. So offensive about dumb things. Everytime something’s piss him off,  he just say to himself _Calm down. You don’t need any fight_.

Now he’s here, in his trailer. Sleepless.

Trailer right next to Norman’s, so he heard when someone opened the doors of his trailer and came in. It was Norman. He laughed and talked with somebody just before he closed the doors. That ‚somebody‘ was Jeffrey.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Interesting guy… Andy said to himself that he should stop thinking about this man in bad way. Jeffrey is amazing guy, no matter if he’s close to Norman, he’s good person and doesn’t deserve to be hated from anybody.

But Andy couldn’t help himself, he can’t stand how close they two are. Like… it was good when Andy and Norman was just together for six years. And now? Jeffrey’s here. Things has changed. Weird. So weird…

Andy was lying on his bed, listening to sounds of the night. It was close to midnight. He could possibly hear Norman’s breathing trought the wall. They have their beds situated to the only wall between their trailers, so if one of them need the other one, they just knock on the wall. It’s pretty smart. Norman did it like first and from that time it is their signal to come over.

He smiled about this memory and turned on his other side. Norman mumbled something from sleep, Andy didn’t hear what, he just heard Norman’s voice.

 It was nice to have him that close again, when he knew that Normski is finally back in his trailer, safe in his trailer and sleeping, he could fall asleep too.

 

Morning’s here. Andy woke up and with a smile on his face he went for two ‚take-away‘ coffees.

He couldn’t wait to light up the first cigarrete of the whole new day, but since they started to have this morning routine with Norman he‘s always waiting for him to take a cig together.

As he came back to Norman’s trailer he went upstairs to knock on them, but others told him that Norman is on breakfast with Jeffrey already.

Andy smiled a bit and made a bad joke just to cover his disappointment and went to a dining-room. With two crucibles of coffee he felt like and idiot so he gave one of them to the first person he met. It was one of these ‚zombie-guys‘ and he seemed happy about that, so what’s the deal?

He wanted to have a first morning cig with Norman, but Norman was busy just as always, so he sat down on boundary stone right next to the dining-room and light up a cig.

Andy was sitting there for couple of minutes, smoking and drinking his coffee when Norman came out and Andy’s face turned into smile, he almost shouted at his friend to make him come, but just as Norman went out so Jeffrey did. They both were laughing about something and Andy’s face turned into outrage. He felt a bit jealous about Norman. He knows Norman’s not his poperty but he… miss him.

Andy looked back at his crucible of coffee right in front of him on road and tried to seem invisible. It didn’t work at all.

„Andrew!“ Somebody shouted and he knew for sure that it was Norman. He looked up and saw Norman half run towards him. It made him smile even he didn’t want to. The happiness of his friend just because he finally met Andy again. Norman is like big child in so many ways,  including this.

Norman came right to him and hugged him so strongly like it should be for the last time.

„Andrew! How ya doing?“ Norman smiled on him as he finally let him breathe again. It was so bright smile that Andy had to smile too. Even of that fact Norman spent his time yesterday rather with Jeffrey then with him, he was happy to see Norman again, so he didn’t mind for this time.

„I’m good. You?“ Andy laughed a bit and then Norman looked down at Andy’s cup.

„Where’s mine?“ he said it with laugh but it was a part of saddness in his voice.

„Oh… Look, I had a crucible for you too, but as I went to your trailer they said me that you are on breakfast already so I gave your crucible to one of these ‚zombie-guys‘. I’m sorry.“ Andy was embarassed about this situation a bit.

„That’s fine. He has free coffee now. Hope he likes extra hot.“ Norman made a joke, but there was something really weird in his voice. Andy couldn’t figure out what it was and had no time to think about it, because Jeffrey came to them suddenly.

„Andy.“ He said with smile but cold voice.

„Jeffrey.“ Andy did the same.

Norman obviously noticed it so he smiled at them and light up his cig.

 „It’s awesome to be here again. This gonna be fucking good season!“ He said it and probably thought this would be a good topic for safe a conversation. Not for Andy. He didn’t want to talk about next season. Not with Jeffrey. He knew it’s unfair, Jeffrey is really good guy and he never did anything wrong to Andy, but… Norman. That’s all.

And if Andy could say: Jeffrey doesn’t like him too, so he doesn’t have to feel guilty about it.

As they was smoking there and Norman with Jeffrey were talking about new season, Andy stood there totally quiet. Lost in his thoughs, Norman tried to make him talk with them for a couple of times, but Andy didn’t want to. He waned just to be with Norman all alone. Or not alone, at least not with Jeffrey. Because, the fact is that Jeffrey‘s bloody charismatic and he knows how to get attention by others.

Andy’s not like that. He doesn’t like to be the centre of attention. Or- of course he likes it, like almost everyone but he will not compete for attention. Never.

After a couple of minutes they had to go to do some work finally and the only reminders of their presence were three cigarette butts and crucible of cold coffee on the road…

 

First day is always the hardest one. At least for Andy. He couldn’t wait to get to his bed, he was so tired like never before. He did some scenes bad, just because he had a mind full of something else.

Now he needs to get some sleep. Last night he slept just for a couple of hours, but it obviously wasn’t enough.

„Andy! Andy stop!“ He heard Norman and when he turned back he saw his friend running right to him. It was the best thing happened today.

„Will we go to mine trailer or yer?“ Norman smiled and tried to draw aside his hair from face.

He was covered by dust, fake blood and other dirty things, just as Andy was.

„To yours of course.“ He smiled.

It was good to see things moving into right direction. Back to the normal. Finally.

„Just let me take a shower and I’ll be there in ten minutes, ok?“ he said to Norman just as they came to the ‚camp‘.

„You can take shower with me.“ Norman smiled playfuly and Andy started to laugh. Full of joy. Everything’s normal again.

„I can’t my wife would kill me. But I promise I’ll be there in 10 minutes, okey?“ He said still laughing.

„Okey, but just 10 minutes. If you’ll be late you’ll pay for it.“ Norman smirked and pointed his finger at him.

„Yes my lord!“ Andy said with rough voice and then both of them started to laugh as their went to theirs trailers.

 

Andy had a shower and then he found some clear white tshirt and black jeans so he put them on himself and he still had one minute so he grabbed all stuffs he needed and ran into Norman’s trailer. He knocked gently and came in.

Norman was still in shower by the sounds of water, so Andy lyied down on bed and decided to wait.

„Ya dead?“ he heard Norman’s voice and then he felt that shock as Norman jumped into bed.

„Bloody hell! Normski you wanna kill me or what?!“ He shouted a bit still shocked as he opened his eyes.

Norman started to laugh.

„I love it.“ He said and rested his head on one of the pillows.

„You love what?“ Andy raised his eyebrows.

„When you use these weird old-britain swear-words.“ Norman smiled a bit and unlocked his phone to post new photos on his Instagram.

„I’m not using any bloody words!“ Andy said with strong english accent and both of them laughed just like kids.

„Let’s take a photo!“ Norman said suddenly and moved to Andy, rested his head down on Andy‘s chest and opened a photo-app to take a photo of them.

Andy leaned his head against the wall and looked down into Norman’s phone with front camera on. Norman didn’t do any stupid and funny faces as he did always, he just smiled a bit, as well as Andy.

He tapped on button and photo was done.

„That’s great! Would you mind..?“ Norman said as he showed the photo to Andy.

„Oh, no. It’s good, post it on Istagram.“ Andy smiled.

„It’s _Instagram_ , man! Don’t do this to me!“ Norman tried to seem angry.

„Or what?“ Andy smiled playfuly and made an alluring glance.

Norman turned his head up to his friend’s face and his eyes was full of questions. Just as always.

„Are you flirting with me?!“ He said a half confused and a half  joking.

„Shut up.“ Andy started to laugh and slammed Norman into shoulder.

„Okey. Get up. I need nicotine.“ Norman said as he got on foot and took his leather jacket.

Andy stood up and tried to figure out what’s wrong. Leather jacket? Really? That’s weird. Norman is ‚bad guy‘ but this jacket? That’s more someone’s else style. Like…

„Leather jacket?“ Andy said as they rested on the stairs. He wanted it look just as interest so he tried to not having suspicious voice.

Norman lighted up his cig and exhaled to cold night, then he looked at Andy with a bit amused rage.

„What?“ Andy felt a bit nervous tossing a lighter in his hand.

„Why are ya so interested? Leather jacket and what?“ Norman smiled a bit still with amused rage and inhaled.

„What are you talking about?“ Andy tried to cover it up. All of it. But his hand was shaking when he inhaled.

Norman laughed a bit, he seemed really amused by this conversation.

„C’mon. You got something you wanna tell me?“ Norman said just as Daryl did when he first met Rick. Both of them noticed and laughed a bit. Just a bit, not that much.

„It’s… Leather jacket. It’s not your style. It’s more.. Jeffrey’s style.“ Andy finally said what he was thinking about it and Norman started to laugh so hard,

Andy was sure that everyone in the ‚camp‘ heard it. It was so loud in that quiet cold night. So _beautiful_.

„You are jealous, man!“ He said finally and laughed even harder.

Andy was shocked. He was sure that he was hiding it really well.

„No… I’m not.“  Andy smiled nervously and exhaled, he wasn’t able to look into Norman’s face. He felt so embarassed in the moment.

„Guy. Of course you‘re not.“ Norman was still laughing and Andy was just sitting there watching this man. He didn’t do anything special, he was just sitting there and laughing. But it was enough. It was all that matters.

So many people said about Norman that he has this kind of personality that catch you just by hearing him laugh. And if this is truth then Andy was, in this moment, trapped forever.

„Andy, look, there’s nothing you should worry about.“ Norman smiled as he stubbed out his cigarette butt in an ashtray.

Andy nodded, but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure about this, but nevermind.

„You should get some sleep.“ That was the last words what Norman said before he stood up.

„Okey. Night.“ Andy smiled a bit and stood up too.

He was almost in his own trailer when Norman replied to him: „Sweet dreams, Andrew.“

He looked back at him covered by shadow but could possibly see his deep silver-grey eyes so he smiled for the last time and came into his trailer.


	2. That bad talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew is pretty jealous about Norman and Jeffrey, he lost his control for a while and everything turned to shit. Just so... But doesn't matter of him, he still wants to see Norman happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys this is second chapter of this fanfic as you can see it's more darker and more about emotional draft. I hope you'll like it.  
> Leave me a comment if you want. And af course: STAY TUNED!

* * *

Night was weird and full of even more weird dreams. Andy had really weird night so he hoped that morning will be better then.

He knocked on Norman’s doors with two crucibles of hot coffee. It was around 6am and all ‚camp‘ was still quiet and sleepy. For Andy this was always one of the best parts of day. He and Normski used to sit on these stairs for a half hour and talking, smoking and drinking coffee. Andy can’t even say how happy he is in these ‚morning-coffee‘ moments.

Just he, Normski, coffee and cigarettes. Before all that mess will start it’s so amazing just to sit there and talk.

He was standing there for couple of minutes but no one opened these doors. So he tried again- the same.

„Fuck it!“ He said to himself and throw Norman’s coffee into a trash as he went on breakfast.

Norman was already in dining-room with some members of cast…and Jeffrey of course!

Andy frowned because of that fact and sat all alone at the opposite corner of the room. Dining-room was almost empty, because almost everyone was still sleeping or something like this.

He was sitting there and driking coffee all alone. He heard them laugh, it made him even more upset, that fact that he could sit on the stairs with Norman right now, but he’s here and alone, while Norman’s there and so happy. Happy without him.  It hurts.

Andy tried to think about what happened yesterday, if he did or said something that could Norman pisses off. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t find anything.

So why’s Norman there with Jeffrey and not here with him?

He was sitting there and thinking about it when somebody stood right in front of his table. Andy looked up. It was Norman.

„Would you mind..?“ he said it with quiet and a bit nervous voice. He seemed like he knew for sure that he screwed it up.

Andy just nodded and took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t want to look at this man so he decided to look on table’s desk. Not interesting but still better then Norman’s face. Andy was really pissed off.

„Andy..“ Norman started softly, took a deep breathe.

„Andrew… Look man, I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you, but I was in hurry.“ He said again softly and quietly.

Andy didn’t say anything. He knew that if he open his mouth now he could say something what he’ll regret later.

„Andrew. Can you just look at me to see how sorry I’m about it?“ Norman tried it again and Andy looked at him, just as he stood up.

„Of course you were in hurry. Jeffrey came for you. I get it, so be happy and let me be!“ He said furiously and went away. He had no mood for this man. Not now!

 

„Okey Andy, listen, I need you to go that way then they’ll start shooting on you so you’ll run as fast as you can and hide behind that car over there, okey?“ Greg was talking to him, but all he could see was only Norman and Jeffrey joking and laughing  5 meters away from him.

„Hey! Andrew!“ Greg raised his voice and Andy finally paid attention on him not on these two.

„I’m sorry, what did you say?“ He tried to look confused. It worked because Greg repeated it and had no notices.

So Andy did his best to make that scene look as good as possible. Chandler was great as always and Danai made her part perfectly, too.

„Okey guys, thanks for your amazing work! Now go get some rest, 10 minutes break!“ Greg shouted as they ended their scene and everyone went to get some rest.

Andy went too. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat under the nearest tree. Normally he has one rule; Never smoke while you are filming, but today he felt like if he’ll not get his nicotine something would happen to him or others.

_What is it with me?!_

A half he was waiting that Norman will come and sit next to him and all that fight will be just a past. But this didn’t happen and Andy felt upset about it.

_Fuck this damn day!_

 

„You all were amazing today! Now go get some rest! See ya tomorow guys!“ Greg shouted to everyone with big smile on face. It could be about 10pm. Today was a bloody long day. Andy couldn’t wait to get into his bed and get some hours of sleep, just like always.

He came into his trailer, had a shower and then he lyied down on his bed. Mind full of what happened today. Again.

He was lying there, thinking about Norman. Again.

 

_..You know…when you are with Norman you drink more, you smoke more, you do do things you would never have thought about. Crazy things. Like go to some gallery at 2am and talk about art, like go to some roof of high building and scream shitty words into New York’s night streets._

_He’ll make you do things you would never do by yourself…. He’ll make you think about things you would never think by yourself… He’ll make you feel things you would never feel by yourself.. And the best (or worst?) about this all is that you’ll enjoy it. All of it._

_Norman has this kind of personality that if once catch you, you are trapped forever. He’s so nice and funny and full of energy and enthusiasm._

_But he has his bad days too. You have no idea.._

_If you’ll become his friend, you probably will see him as he’s a king everywhere he walks, he’ll be funny, loud, nice, charming and he’ll never shut up his mouth, he’ll be full of life, energy and light and you’ll have that feeling  you want to be that happy too.._

_But if you’ll become his close friend…if he’ll let you… you’ll see him broken, you’ll see him sitting in his flat in the middle of the night with some alcohol in his hand, totally quiet._

_You’ll see him cry so much it will almost break your heart, you’ll have deep talks with him and you’ll see his eyes full of questions you would like know answers for._

_You’ll see him in mornings after nights full of ‚trying to forget‘… You’ll see him in his own amazing world… You’ll see him paiting incredible paitings or taking amazing photos of everything…you’ll hear him singing in his very happy moments, you’ll see him cuddling with his cat like a child… You’ll be there when he’s joking with his son and see how much he loves this kid…You’ll feel how kind and empathic this guy is….you’ll fall in love with him… Because you’ll have no other choice.._

Andy was totally lost in his thoughts when someone knocked on the doors, it almost made him die by that shock.

„Come in!“ he shouted and tried to calm down his pulse, but it doesn’t work at all, especially when the one who came in was Norman.

„Hey.“ He said shyly as he came in. He obviously had a shower before he went here, because his hair was wet and Andy whiffed of  his shower gel.

„Hey. You need something?“ Andy raised his eyebrows as he moved to sit.  He didn’t  want to sounds rude, but he couldn’t help himself.

„I want to talk.“ Norman said without any cover, just like it was.

Andy was looking at him for a while, then he finally nodded and stood up.

„You wanna coffee?“ He asked and went to the ‚kitchen-part‘ of his trailer, Norman sat down on sofa.

„Yea, please.“ Norman nodded.

It was a while of quiet until the coffee was done.

„Okey. So..?“ Andy started and took a sip of his coffee.

„So…“ Norman said and didn’t look into Andy’s eyes, instead he put his hands on the cup and started to play with it.

„I want you to know that I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin our morning coffees. I know how important they are for you.. for us. But you need to understand: I… Jeffrey and I, we have something special. Something what I’m missing between us.“ Norman tried to explain it and seemed like it was his hardest speech ever.

The last part hitted Andy like a truck. It was as if somebody took his guts and crushed them into a puree. He was not able to say or do anything.

„I don’t want ya to think that now you‘re on second round, but…Please.. Try to understand to me.“ Norman seemed totally lost and a half  broken. He said that he’s not on second round, but both of them knew it was lie. He’s there for so long.

„Look… I know that you’re a married man and I’m respecting that, but Jeffrey.. he’s too and he feel free to do things… Like… It doesn’t matter.“ Norman ended it because he definitely noticed how angrily Andy looked at him.

Then it was there again, that kind of quiet what will make you want to scream.

„So… you exchanged me.. I got it, and it’s alright… I mean, you’re right I’m not like this… I don’t feel free to do _things_..“ Andy said it and giving a special emphasis on word ‚things‘.

Norman seemed totally lost and broken.

„I didn’t mean that like that. Ya know it…I-“

„I really don’t care, Norman. I’m not mad at you, neither at him. You made a choice, so I hope you’ll be happy. I mean it, I hope you’ll be happy no matter if it will be with me or with…Jeffrey. I want you to be happy, Normski.“ Andy smiled a bit and he could possibly feel that tears coming.

Norman was almost crying too. He didn’t say anything, he just nodded and drunk his coffee in one shot, then he stood up and with last look into Andy’s eyes went outside.

Andy wanted to scream and crush all stuffs in his trailer, but instead of this he rested his head on a desk of the table and started to cry.

_Fuck all damn things about you, Norman!_


	3. You should take a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week passed by and Andy's still trying to deal with this fact that Norman has new best friend... That Norman doesn't need Andy at all... Or?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone!  
> I just want you to know that the last chapter of 'This will be Christmas like from fairy-tale..' will be available next week on Monday, so stay tuned!  
> And about this story? About this chapter?  
> As always everything turned to serious shits and it's again darker and more emotional. Hope you'll like it.  
> So leave me a comment if you want, really guys, I want to know what do you think about it. ;)  
> And of course: STAY TUNED!

 

* * *

 

One week passed by and Andy was tired. Tired of all these things. Since the last conversation, he didn’t talk with Norman. They were meeting on set or in dining-room or in mornings when they were coming to work, or in nights when they were coming ‚home‘. But it was awkward.

Thanks god they had not that much scenes together in this season yet, so they didn’t have to meet often. It‘s better when Andy isn’t with Norman, when he doesn’t to look at him and Jeffrey.

It hurts less then.

But as time passed by so many people noticed that something’s happening in there.

Just as Danai did.

And she obviously decided to figure out what is going on, because she stopped him one night, when he was on his way to trailer.

„Andy, can I talk with you?“ She asked with smile, but her eyes were full of worries.

He just nodded and tried to smile, but it was really hard.

„Okey...what’s going on here? Between you and Norman? We all noticed that and we’re having worries about you and him. What happened?“ She said and tried to make an eye contact with Andy, but he was looking on her shoes, unable to look her into eyes.

„That’s nothing. Don’t worry. I’m okay. And Norman’s definitely too.“ He said and thought this conversation is over. Danai didn’t think the same, she tried to say  something else, but he turned and went toward his trailer.

He knew that it was so rude from him, but he couldn’t help himself. All he needs now is to be alone.

As he came to his trailer he looked at Norman’s doors, automaticaly, then he sat on stairs of his own trailer and lighted up a cig.

After a while he heard a laugh and some convo, he looked up and saw Norman with Jeffrey, so ‚unexpected‘.

Jeffrey didn’t even noticed of Andy sitting on stairs and came into Norman’s trailer, but Norman stopped for a while, he noticed of Andy. He saw him and hesitated for a moment, he was looking into Andy’s eyes and it seemed like he wants to say something or do something.

„Hey, Norm! Whiskey is good for tonight, isn’t it?“ Jeffrey shouted with big smile as he went a half way out from Norman’s trailer.

Norman looked at him for last, Andy could swear he had something in his face, something deeper then anything in the world. And he seemed tired, as if he had a lot of sleepless nights. Andy automatically turned into his ‚worried-mood‘.

He was sitting there thinking about Norman if he’s okay, when his phone started to ring, suddenly.

Andy winced and pulled his cell phone from his pocket, it was Gael. He thought for a moment that he’ll not accept the call, but he did, he wanted to hear her smooth voice so badly.

„Hi, love.“ He said with soft voice.

„Hi, darling. I’m not bothering you, am I? How are you? I just wanted to hear you.“ She smiled into phone. It was like some balm for his soul.

„No, not at all.“ He smiled too and inhaled.

„What’s happening?“ She said suddenly and Andy wanted to hang up immediately.

_Damn! Can’t others just mind their own business? Why did they tell her?!_

„Who told you..?“ He asked, tired of all this shits.

„Nobody. I know you, and I hear you, and I’m not dumb. So?“ She laughed a bit. It was so nice to hear.

Andy was quiet, unable to say something.

After a while of quiet she said only one word, but it was the right one.

„Norman.“ It wasn’t a question, she said it, sure about it.

„Yes..“ He whispered totally screwed up.

„Do you wanna talk about it?“ She said, calmly and kindly as always.

Andy was thinking about it for a while.

„No.. I’m sorry, honey, but I really don’t.“ He said at the end.

„Okey. So go to sleep, Andrew, you know you need it.“ She smiled and he was so grateful for this.

For her. For having her in his life. She’s the most amazing woman in the whole world. It’s more harder then. Everything.

„Thank you. You should go, too. Sweet dreams, Gael.“ He said softly and stood up.

„Sweet dreams, Andrew.“ She said with smile and hang up.

Andy turned around, cause he had a feeling that someone’s watching him during that call. But nobody’s there. Weird.

He came into his trailer, had a shower and then lyied down into his bed. It was hard just to close eyes and sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes his mind was full of Norman. He heard them trought the wall, they were talking about something, Andy didn’t hear about what, he just heard voices.

It didn’t make it any easier.

The last picture of Norman in his mind was Norman standing outside there in front of his trailer, tired as fuck.

Andy was upset about it. About all of it.

 

_You know, first thing you could say about Norman is that he has a really big heart. He loves everyone. He’s just like this, it’s his naturally behaving._

_When he’ll be with you ,you’ll be the most important person in the world to him, but just for that moment. When he’ll turn to talk to someone else, you’ll be still in his heart, still important, but that person, which he turned to, is the most important now. You get it?_

_He can fall in love very easily and very often, if he’ll fall in love with you, he’ll give you all his heart and everything he has, but just for a moment._

_There’s one thing you need to know about him, it’s not deep love. It’s almost everytime just deep, very very deep, interest. He doesn’t mean that bad, and he doesn’t want to hurt you, but he’s just like that._

_It’s his naturally behaving._

_He’ll be joking with you, talking, laughing, cuddling, kissing you, you’ll be in the centre of his attention, but just for a while, just for a moment. Then he’ll find someone else to pay attention at.  Don’t get it wrong, he’ll still love you, you’ll still mean a lot to him, but you need to accept that fact, if you’ll not be his close friend, he’ll like you, he’ll have good time with you, but as soon as he’ll turn to someone else, he’ll forget about you. He doesn’t do it on pruporse, he just do it._

_In his life is only few of these close friends. Friends with whom he feels the most comfortable._

_If you’ll be one of them then you should count with a lot of physical contact. He’ll kiss you, hug you, lay on your lap and fall asleep, he’ll hold your hand and he’ll want to be close to you as much as possible._

_He’ll make you feel special and he’ll be there everytime you’ll need him. Just as you should be there for him._

_If you’ll be with him in the middle of night, he’ll give you juice with vodka regardless you asked just for that juice part and he’ll talk with you till sunrise. Then he’ll fall asleep with his head rested on your chest and you’ll want to hold him like this forever. Because you’ll know that you are holding the most beautiful soul in the whole world and the most amazing person in the whole world… In these moments you’ll feel how hard in love with him you are… It will not be any crazy love. No way. Nothing that crazy… It will be just something what will be in your heart forever… And no matter what, it will be there, always…That’s just a fact…_

 

As he was thinking about all these things and shits he fell asleep finally. But he could swear that, right before he fell asleep, he heard a knocking on the wall…

 

Next morning’s here. Andy woke up, found some clothes, put them on and went for one crucible of coffee. Even the salesmen there were looking at him quite alarmed. Like as if they want to say: „Is everything okay? Did something happened? Why are you taking only one coffee since last week, instead of two?“

It was kind, but really annoying, Andy began to think about buying coffee elsewhere, but had no idea where.

He spent all way back to the ‚TWD momental residence‘ by thinking about it, so he almost didn’t noticed that somebody’s waiting for him on the parking lot.

As he opened the doors of his car, he almost hitted that person, then he finally noticed. It was Greg.

_What the fuck is going on here?_

„Hi Andy.“ Greg smiled, but Andy could possibly feel his worries.

„Hi. What do you need?“ He asked as he closed the car-doors.

„I want you to take a break. For two weeks at least.“ Greg said it as carefuly as he could.

Andy turned to him immediately.

„Why should I take a break?“ He said furiously.

„To set up your mind and get some rest. It’s for your good, trust me.“ Greg smiled and tried to hide his worries. It didn’t work at all.

Andy was totally shocked. This has never happen before. To nobody.

„Look, I know you have some problems now, and I wanted to wait till you’ll be okay by yourself, but the fact is that you’re late almost everywhere, you are tired, you look disrasracted, you are forgetting your parts, your scenes aren’t good at all. So Norman does. You two need to take a break. Please, don’t make it any harder.“ Greg seemed really sad about it, but he had to do it.

Andy just nodded, it was like be hit by a truck.

„Okey, go to your trailer, pack up your things and see you in two weeks, I hope you’ll get better.“ Greg smiled on him and patted him on the shoulder.

Andy just nooded again and turned to ‚camp‘.

It was too much on him. Too much….

 

He found himself  in the car on his way to airport. He should go home, but he felt that he needs to be alone. At least for a couple of days. Everything turned to shit.

Andy didn’t even know how, but after a long way he was finally in some hotel room, totally tired, physically and mentally. He had a shower and then he lyied on the sofa with a glass of whiskey in his hand.

Mind full of regrets...and remose.

 


	4. Jeffrey is a real friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy is in a hotel room, thinking about what had happened and slow sips of whiskey could help him forget....but will it work?  
> Little spoil: Can uncle Jeffrey save the situation? ( :D damn, that sounds good!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> I have to apologize, I think this chapter isn't as good as I excepted, but I did my best, anyway.  
> Hope you'll like it.  
> Warring: The biggest drama is yet to come!  
> (My english is bad, I know that, so please be forgiving.)  
> So stay tuned and leave me a comment. :)

A couple of days later and he still didn’t make a step from his hotel room. A second day there he called Gael and told her about what happened and that he needs some time alone, she was really amazing, she agreed with him and wasn’t upset about it. She’s pretty amazing woman.

And now? He’s lying on the same couch as in his first day in this hotel, normaly he would be glad it’s New York’s _Hilton_ and not some dirty hostel, but this time he didn’t mind at all.

He woke up to whole new day with brutal headache and the aftertaste in mouth. He sat up holding his head, as he looked down on the floor he saw a bottle of whiskey spillted on the carpet and empty glass. When he looked around he saw all that mess there, but who cares? It was really the last thing he could think about.

He had a shower, after 3 days it was really in need and then went on the balcony to light a first morning cigarette.

He was standing there, it could be around 10am the city was already in hurry, just as always, and thinking about all damn things. Again and again. Since he came to the hotel it was all he could think about.

When he throw away a cigarette butt, he came back to the hotel room and lyied down on couch.

He spend all day like this. Just lying there and thinking… and drinking of course.

 

_Gosh, it’s like a break-up. You know? Like… These moments when you are just lying on a bed and waiting for something… When your phone starts to ring or buzz you always think it’s that person you broke-up with… And if it’s not ringing or buzzing you are checking your phone at least hundred times in an hour, to be sure you didn’t miss a call, or message or ..anything…And you want to know one sweet secret? …It’s never them. Never._

_That’s the most hurting about it, that feeling when you know they don’t miss you at all, that they are happy without you, that they don‘t need you at all.._

_These moments you are sitting all alone and waiting for them, while they are with someone else, doing some dumb shits and you know that no matter what they don’t miss you._

_So you are sitting there, all alone, trying to do something else to not think about them, but as more you try the more you think about them, because it’s not these big things what‘s reminding you about them, it’s trifles… These little things what they used to do, or say, or like, or dislike… Like when you hear their favorite song, or when you are eating broccoli and you know, they hate it in all the way… Or when someone’s talking with you and say some damn-word they used to say too… Or when you are wearing a tshirt from them, it’s still smells by their parfume… Or when you are falling asleep with knowing that they’ll not sent you a ‚good night‘ message… Or when you wake up with knowing they’ll not sent you a ‚good morning‘ message… Or when  you do something funny and there’s no one who whould laugh about it… And you know they would…_

_All these trifles… It’s like nothing… But at the end it will make you insane…_

_…You will sit there looking on your phone and trying to not write a message to them, or not call them, or to not stalk them on social networks, but you know that, nothing, absolutely nothing, you would do, never bring them back… And that…that sucks.._

A week passed by and Andy wasn’t alright at all. He was just lying on couch, drinking and thinking. Darker and darker inside.

Then it happened. His phone started to ring, he almost broke his arm to answer the call. It could be Norman.

„Hey.“ He said and noticed how hoarse and rough his voice is after 7 days of quiet. And crying.

„Oh hello, Andy. It’s me Kevin. I’m sorry for bothering you, but I would like to invite you on a meeting with fans and interview of course.“

Andrew was confuse for while, it wasn’t Norman, it was Kevin and he wanted him to join into some fan meeting.

„What?“ He said really confused.

Kevin repeated it once again, then Andy finally understood.

„Okey. I’ll be there.“ He said as he wrote address on a peace of paper. It’s tomorow. Norman will not be there, it was all that matters, he wanted to have some interaction with fans, it could make him happy again, but he doesn’t want to meet Norman. Not at all.

Now he should go and make a human from himself again.

Next morning he woke up to a damn beatiful day, he had a great sleeptime and he finally had a breakfast after a week, actually his first food after a week.

So now he should put on some clean clothes and go to that meeting. It will start at 2pm so he should rather go now.

He found only one clean tshirt, it was black and jeans in the same color. He took his blue baseball cap and his jacket and went outside.

It was good tobe outside again. He took a taxi and as he came there, Kevin and Mike welcomed him and they went to stage immediately.

It started.

„So let me welcome here this amazing actor, who plays Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead,, everybody loves him, Andreeew Lincooln!“ Kevin shouted and fans started to scream and shout. It’s always kinda crazy.

Andy came at the stage and hugged with guys, it was great to be with other people again.

He had a great mood as he rested on sofa there on stage and took a mic.

„And now, let me invite here one more amazing actor from The Walking Dead he plays really baddass character and we all love him, Normaaan Reeeedus!“ Mike shouted into mic, and Andy almost slipped down from the sofa.

Andy had a dizzy and he almost stood up and went away, when Norman came on stage with his phone filming it all as usual. He hugged these two and then he turned to Andy.

His face changed as he sat on the sofa next to Andy.

„So guys, we heard you have some break now. Can you say to us what does it mean?“ Mike said just as Norman rested on the sofa and Kevin was smiling like a little sunshine, both of them were ignoring Andy’s killing faces.

„Eh…yes. We have some break time. Because..we..had some problems, but it’s good now.“ Norman said and Andy was unable to look at him. Norman’s parfume was all over him, and he felt a warm of his body and if he’d move a little he could touch him, but he knew for sure that he can’t do it.

„Andy? You wanna tell us something? Is that really all?“ Kevin smiled at him, Andy turned his look on him and smiled a bit.

„Yes. It’s all. We’ll join to cast next week, so I’m excited about it.“ He smiled and looked at Norman just for a sec. Norman looked up at him and then it was like in slow motion. Everything slowed and then he smiled a bit on Andy. It wasonly a smile ,but it was enough to make Andy’s hand shaking.

„Okey. Now we’ll let a few of you all ask them something. So get a mic and give us your questions!“ Kevin said into mic and after a while some girl stood up with a mic. She was young and pretty.

„Hi. I’m Caren and I’m from Denver.“ She said and smiled on them. Both of them replied to her.

„..and my question is, what did actually happened between you two? We’re not blind.“ She said and it was like be hit by truck. _FUCK!_

For a moment there was a dead silence, then Norman cleared his throat.

„Okey… That’s a pretty good question, but trust me when I’m saying there’s nothing you should know about. We are okay.“ He said and turned to Andy, like he was waiting for help.

„Yes. We’re okay. Definitely there’s nothing you should worry about.“ Andy almost repeated what Norman said and it seemed like it wasn’t enough.

But no one made another questions about this topic.

The fan-meeting was great but Andy was so thankful it’s finally over.

As he went back to the back-stage someone shouted on him. It was Mike.

„Let’s go get some beers with us, man!“ He laughed on Andy and all these people there started to persuade him.

Then he noticed Norman, he was just standing there and watching him, without any word.

It was enough for him to reject their invite.

Later that day, night, actually Andy was again in his hotel room, when the door bell started to ring and someone was knocking on the doors like some crazyman.

„Calm down! I’m comin‘!“ Andy said with tired voice and opened the doors. It almost punched him in the face, when someone came in like a hurricane.

It was Jeffrey and he was like a God of revenge. Andy was really surprised, so he just stood there like an idiot, unable to say or do something.

„Did you deffinitely lost your fucking mind?!“ He shouted on him suddenly, he was like a lion in a cage. Full of angriness.

„What?“ Andy said and tried to figure out what the fuck is going on here.

„Do you really think you can do whatever you want no matter who’ll be hurt?! Are ya really that selfish bitch?! Tell me something: it’s good feeling to know that you ruined someone?!!“ He was shouting on him and he seemed like he want to punch Andy in the face, at least once.

„What the fuck are you talking about?“ Andy finally found his balance.

„You don’t really know?! Let me explain something to you: You can be whatever you want, you can do whatever you want, you can think whatever you want about yourself, but you can’t hurt the ones I love! The ones you love! When you were doing all these stupid selfish shits, did you think about it, about the fact it will hurt somebody, did you think about it?! At least once?!“ Jeffrey shouted and his rough voice made it even more scarry. And Andy still had no idea what’s going on.

Anyway Jeffrey didn’t want to know his opinion about it, obviously, because he started again:

„Oh I almost forgot how dumbass you can be! You are like some fucking teenage girl, and you know what? It’s not all about you! And it has never been like this!

He always did his best to make you happy, to make you feel good with him!

 He always tried to make you love him! He didn’t want that much back! Just some love-shit and that feeling you feel it in the same way! But for you it’s too much! You use to say how big friends you two are, but where were you all these nights when he was totally lost and insane?! When he was screaming and cyring! When he was sitting somewhere in these dark nights, thiking about what did he do wrong this time?! _WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU_?!“

Jeffrey seemed like he should calm down or he could hurt himself..or Andy. The second option is more likely.

„Okey. Just…can you just tell me what the fuck are you doing here? Why are you shouting on me as if I did something that bad?“ Andy raised his eyebrows he already knew for sure, what’s going on, but he would like to be wrong.

Jeffrey stopped for a while, he was standing there, just like a very tired man.

„You want to tell me you still don’t know?“ He said with quiet voice as he looked into Andy’s eyes.

But Andy did, he swallowed and tried to stay calm.

„I…I know. But it’s not that easy.“ He said finally, looking on the floor.

„It’s right that _easy_! You screwed it up, you‘ll go and make it work again!“ Jeffrey said his last words and went from the doors.

For the first time of Andy’s life, he wasn’t scarried. And he knew for sure what he should do now.

_Find Norman and talk things out._


	5. Dealing with demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy finally made a decision he have to make it all work again between him and Norman. But will Norman listen to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I want to apologize to all of you for not posting a long long time. Becase I had some personal problems so I had no time for this. I'm really sorry. (And again sorry for my english too, I tried my best.)  
> Anyways I hope you'll enjoy this LAST CHAPTER! :) I know it's not long, but it's good, I think.  
> And I just want to say that if there's anyone who loves TV show SCRUBS- I'll post one little 'pre-slash' on JD and Dr. Cox. So stay tuned! :)   
> P.S.: Leave me a comment if you want.

As he was on his way throught that dark night's streets of New York he tried to calm down. Because, yes, that running of his appartment was kinda pathetic and romantic, but he had absolutely no idea how to make it all work again.

He sat on seat of bus trying to not think, just for a few minutes, but his mind was full of Norman, not in that love-way, just... he knew for sure, that Norman needs him right now.

 

_What should I do now? I mean... Yes, I do love him, in some way..these feeling are so deep inside of me. But, I know, I can't give him these things he wants from me. I'm not that brave, he knows it. He knows me, what am I._

_I have wife, for godssake!_

_How am I able to make him happy? That's... No matter how hard I'll try, I can't quit my wife and kids.... He should know that..._

_Please God, I have never ever talk to you before, but please, please make him understand..._

Andy was right in front of that building where's Norman living.

Unable to move.

Again.

After a few deep breathes he finally moved to doors. Not sure about what should he say to Norman, or what should he do.

With these thoughts he went right to Norman's appartment.

Another deep breath.

He knocked at the doors, after a few seconds longer then any others, he finally heard a sound from the inside and then the doors opened.

Andy wanted to say something, or do something, he was ready to talk, until Norman opened the doors.

As Andy saw him, saw that pain in his eyes, saw how tired and broke this guy is, he just leaned against the wall with his head unable to do anything.

Again.

They were looking at each other for a while.

"Hi..." Andy said with a fake smile on his face.

Norman just nodded and left the doors open, as he was on his way back to the flat.

Andy made a move and closed the doors when he came inside of Norman's messed flat.

Norman sat back to the couch, which was obviously his only place lately, he grabbed a glass of vodka and took a long sip.

Andy could look at it, he sat next to Norman on the couch and took another deep breathe.

Both of them knew this was different, it was so screwed up, how they are suppose to make it work again?

"Why are ya here?" Norman finally spoke, with a rough voice.

"Because...I want to apologize." Andy answered full of fear.

After a while Norman laughed. It wasn't happy at all.

"What?" Andy asked so lost because of this broken man right next to him.

"You came.. to apologise? After a years of rejecting me?" Norman said with sarcasm in his tired voice.

It hitted Andy like a truck. Again.

He wasn't able to say anything, so he stayed quiet instead of explain everything to Norman.

But it obviously wasn't what Norman wanted to hear, because he stood up and went right to the window.

Andy stayed to sit on the couch, to scared to turn to the window where's Norman.

"Look, Norman.. I want to-" Norman interruped him before he could end the sentense.

"What else do you want from me? Do you have a feeling I didn't give up more then I could just for you?! Even I had got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but I stayed! After seven years ya want to talk?! That's kinda late, don't you think?! After seven years I've been waiting for you to say anything! After seven years you made me feel like nothing more then shit, you want to show up and make it all work again?! Like everytime! You always fuck it up, then you leave me to deal with these demons all alone and after a couple of days ago you show up and talk things out! And I always believed you! You always gave me that feeling that I'm not shit, that you do care about me! But where the fuck are you all these moments I have to deal with demons darker you can even imagine?! And it's all your fault! I didn't want that much! What the fuck did you think?! That I'm that selfish to make you leave your family?! That I'm that selfish to make you be with me even you don't want to?! That's shit, and you know that! I just wanted... You by my side... Just to be there for me when I lose my way.. Was it that much?" The last sentense came from his mouth just like a whispering.

Andy was totally shocked and he realised that he was crying. Just as Norman did.

Both of them were crying.

"I just.. I..Norman, please.." Andy tried to explain everything to someone he loves more then he was able to admit for last seven years.

But Norman just wiped tears from his cheeks and turned back to the window.

"You should go..." He said after a while of quiet.

Andy couldn't believe what he heard, but after a while he realised it. Norman gave up the matter with him.

He nodded and even he wanted to say something, to fight for Norman's love, he stood up instead and walked from the doors.

The last thing he could hear before he closed the doors was Norman's cry and the only thing he wanted was to run back to his flat, hug him and just be with him.

But Norman didn't want him around and he'll respect it.

 

Andy came to the night's streets of New York trying not to cry, it was almost impossible. He knew how stupid it all seemed but he didn't care.

It's like some romantic-book bullshit. But without happy ending.

He walked a few meters, then he finally realised.

 

_"You leave me to deal with all these demons all alone!"_

"Fuck it!" He said to himself and turned back to Norman's house.

He ran back to his appartment as fast as he could.

When he opened the doors, Norman was crying on the floor totally broken. Andy have never seen him like this before.

He sat right next to him, hugged him and rested Norman's head on his shoulder without any word... he knew that no words are needed.

For the first time he wasn't ashamed of having Norman in his arms. For the first time he wasn't ashamed of feeling that this is a place Norman belongs to.

He knew how hard it will be in the future, but he didn't mind.

As long as he have Norman in his arms, he doesn't care about anything else.

"We'll figure it out. I'm here for you and I'll never leave you alone again." Andy whispered to Norman's hair...

And he knew he meant it.


End file.
